"You already know the majority of what you need to know to be an incredible parent."
~Mayim Bialik
When I heard that Mayim Biaik wrote a book about attachment
parenting I couldn't help but wonder what she had to say. She is best known for her roles as Blossom
Russo on the 90’s TV show Blossom and Amy Farrah Fowler on The Big Bang Theory
- Love that show! Love her on that show! She is great! It’s great! Love it,
love it!
After receiving her PhD she decided to go back to acting
instead of perusing a career in academics in order to be able to spend as much
time with her children as possible. She
believes, as I do, that no one can meet her children’s needs the way their parents
can. No one can or cares to understand
their needs the way Momma does. No one
can make her children feel as safe and secure as their parents do.
Attachment parenting is a parenting philosophy that emphasizes
creating a healthy strong attachment between baby and parent especially in the
first couple years of life by breastfeeding on que, baby wearing and
co-sleeping and other techniques. The theory is that it is this early healthy attachment
that lays the groundwork for raising independent confident adults.
Despite my curiosity I hesitated to read this. Seems like whenever I read a parenting book, especially an attachment parenting book, it just makes me feel like less of a Mom, like I’m
not doing enough. That probably says
more about me and my insecurities than anything else, but there it is, that’s how
I feel. I try to avoid reading material that
makes me feel bad about myself.
I was really curious about this book though, so I picked it
up at the library and decided to just read the first chapter and get a feel for
her style. If I felt I was being
preached at or judged in some way I would just take the book back and forget
about it.
In the first chapter she introduces the idea that we know intuitively
how to raise our children. We know how
to provide for their needs the best. We
know how to support them in their development if we just tune in to them and ourselves.
This is all instinct. It is part of how we evolved. It’s a hormonal response to
care for your children and we do not need to be taught. No one else can possibly know what’s right
for you or your children better than you.
So far so good. So I kept reading.
The book is divided into two main sections, what baby needs;
smooth birth, breastfeeding, to be held and touched/babywearing, co-sleeping,
and introducing the potty through elimination communication. What baby does not
need; stuff, medical intervention, pressure and punishment.
I found it really interesting to hear about her very
unconventional but inspiring parenting decisions she has made for her
family. She is very careful to state
that these are the parenting choices that work for her and her family and that
by no means would this lifestyle work for everyone. She is very clear in her belief that every
family needs to do what is right for them.
That there is no one right way for everyone to parent. That her way is not necessarily the best way,
just the best way for her family.
I truly enjoyed the read.
I found the tone of the book conversational and not at all preachy. The topics covered were interesting and
although the overall concepts of attachment parenting are not new to me I did
gain a different understanding as to why and how someone might make the
decisions she has.
Never once was I put off.
Never once did I feel she was judgmental of other parenting styles. Never once did I find myself feeling
defensive. This is really saying a lot considering what a personal and heated
topic parenthood can be.
From the chapter on breastfeeding I learned about all sorts
of interesting uses for breast milk. Breast
milk is naturally lubricating and anti-bacterial. After reading this I started using the handexpression technique listed in the resources to start applying breast milk to my
sons eczema several times daily.
I have been so reluctant to use a steroid cream or even
lotion on my tiny little baby even though his skin has been pretty bad this winter.
Everything you put on your skin is absorbed into the bloodstream, everything!
So I was happy to give breast milk a try. And it worked! His skin has really
cleared up! I can’t tell you how amazing
this is to me!
I was particularly inspired by her chapters on letting kids
be kids and gentle punishment. Her
thoughts were lovely and gentle. Truly heartfelt
and considerate of a young child’s needs.
She gave me a new perspective on forcing kids to share and pushing them
to say please and thank you. I love the
idea of modeling these positive behaviors and helping kids to see it in action.
Probably my biggest take away was about elimination
communication. I am totally in awe of
her experiences with her children. I had
heard of this practice before but it seemed to extreme and just unrealistic but
reading about her experiences with her boys makes me want to look into it
further. Something about the way she
presents it just made it seem so reasonable.
I've been doing some more reading on the topic, I will have to let you
know more as I explore the possibility.
The resources at the back of the book are a true gold
mine. Good references to all sorts of interesting
books, movies and website to learn more on the topics covered. I have found all
sorts of great stuff back there including the link to the hand expression
technique I have been using to slather my baby boy with breast milk every day.
Honestly how much you enjoy this book might have a little something
to do with how much you tend to lean toward the attachment parenting model
yourself. I don’t want to say it wouldn't be a good read if your parenting philosophy is very different, but you will
surely have a different reaction to the book.
If you are curious about what attachment parenting is all
about or how it really works in real life this book certainly will give you an
idea. If these concepts are completely foreign
to you and your parenting style you are likely to still find some value. It
might all seem a bit extreme but still thought provoking.
I found the book
interesting, insightful and sincere. I truly
enjoyed every page.
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